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On Seeing Kobe Bryant At The World Cup

After spending the week with the Upper-upper class of “Jozi” and their open bars (with Johnny Walker black) and chatting with world famous archaeologist about 1.7 million year old humanoid remains, I decided to watch some “football” (I don’t know how, but this really happened). On Sunday night I went to the Argentina-Mexico game. Finally supporting a winning team, I wore my light blue and waved my Argentinian flag.

As I sat in my seat, I turned around to look at the crowd and thought I recognized a tall black guy a few rows behind me. Holy shit. That’s Kobe Bryant.

After waving like idiots he finally noticed us. (We had better seats than him, duh.) I gave him my trademark azn tourist peace sign and a thumbs up. Realizing that we were the only people who recognized him in the whole stadium, we decided to be brave and run up to him. Everyone wondered why we were taking pictures of this random guy. After getting shouted at by his security guards, Kobe lifted my 11 year old brother (so jealous) over his security guards for a picture. As we left I turned back and Kobe gave me the peace sign. LOVE HIM.

Oh yea - then some sporting event happened, which was actually amazing. The Argentinian fans toilet papered the field - so frat. In the end Argentina won and I finally didn’t have to look like an idiot walking out of the stadium. Right before we left, a Mexican fan wanted a photo with me. So weird.

Tomorrow I’m headed to Namibia. I doubt that there is any Internet there - especially in the desert. Hopefully I can see some sweet animals or something. Who knows.  

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Our Girl In Rio

Our second World Cup dispatch comes from our girl in Rio, Niti Parthasarathy. She took time away from lounging on the beaches and clubbing with favela warlords to watch the U.S. play Ghana at her favorite cafe.

Dear [The ##],

It was a hot, golden afternoon with a regular breeze, and there was not a single cloud in the sky. Whenever I am away from Rio de Janeiro, I miss days like this, when the sun is like a fire and the water glows green and the breeze shakes leaves down onto my hair.

I arrived at Cafecito and sat down at a table near the television. The sounds of the game mixed with the sounds of the neighborhood: the Santa Teresa streetcar creaking uphill, street musicians wandering with their ukeleles and their songs, children running and shrieking, the television echoing from the houses and bars across the street, cars screeching to a halt and horns honking amid angry protestations, babies wailing furiously, other people cheering, many conversations in Portuguese and also in Spanish because the owner of Cafecito is Chilean.

You have to climb a flight to stairs to reach Cafecito, which is on the second story; though it has no roof, it is protected from the sun by the boughs and branches of large trees, which hang over and supply shade. The floor is made of rocks and log planks, the tables and chairs are also built from wood, and there are tropical plants in every corner. I feel like I am in a treehouse.

Because it is so picturesque, many tourists stop and eat and take photographs at Cafecito. Some British kid tried to tell me I should call the sport football. I told him we’d stop calling it soccer when they stopped using the metric system.

I like America being the underdog in at least one thing, since we dominate at everything else. We are not woefully ignorant about soccer; we are willfully ignorant. And we shouldn’t think of our loss as devastating and heartbreaking and dream-crushing. No, this is just America being charitable towards the rest of the world, allowing them for once to understand what global domination feels like, even if it is just in sport and not in important things like diplomacy or warfare.

I am bitter and upset. How can people be soccer fans every year and all year round? I think it will take me four years just to recover from the emotional turmoil of the past few weeks. And yet, most of the rest of the world suffers like this all the time. I really pity them. Or maybe I envy them. I’m in Brasil, after all, where everyone is mad for this sport, and their passion is infectious.

Years ago, on my very first trip to Brasil, I visited the Mineirão stadium in Belo Horizonte with my friend Kathyuscia. “Ronaldo was discovered here!” she exclaimed. The stadium was empty, but I could picture it full of people jostling, heckling, fighting each other. Kathy had mentioned casually that her university classes, like all schools and offices, were cancelled during Brasil’s matches, and it fascinated me at the time, the idea of an entire country relieved of their official duties just because of futbol. But now, after so much time spent here, it seems perfectly normal to me that Brasil stops during the World Cup, that banks are on holiday, that the metro is unstaffed, that the centro is like a ghost town.

A perfect description: I remember Kathyuscia saying to me, “whenever they play here, the whole place is jumping jumping! And all the lights are bright, and everyone is always shouting.” I also remember that the man on duty at the Mineirão told us that people from FIFA were there that day, which is more exciting in retrospect than it was at the time.

I’m leaving Cafecito now, and the sunlight is waning in Rio, and the evening breeze blows comfortingly. I like this hour best of all hours, when the streetlights are turned on and windows begin glittering with lamplight. The city is violet and golden. The air smells like dinner, and everything is overlain in shadow.

VAMOS BRASIL.

Niti

A World Cup Fraturday

As you may have heard, America played in a sporting match today! Finding ourselves spread among God’s green, post-colonial earth, we thought we’d collect some dispatches. Our first is from downtown New York.

When, on Monday, I heard that the next world cup game was at 2:30 on a Saturday, I was excited. I knew we’d post up at some bar, preferably in the East Village, by noon and have a sweet seat to watch the games, and, who knows, maybe an extra spot next to me for the cutest blonde to wander in 5 minutes before the start.

We ended up descending from our 4th floor LES walk-up around noon, set on walking up 2nd ave in search of an open table at a bar with TVs. We eventually met some non-blogger friends at Finnerty’s, a rowdy bar where we had watched the 7th game of the NBA Finals.

The limited seating was already filled, drinks clearly having been served before noon. A lot of bros, a lot of American flags. I saw one guy with blue pants covered in white stars. Others were wearing flags as capes. It might have been my imagination, but I thought some of the more attractive women there were wearing American flag bikinis under their tank tops, ready for a wet and wild celebration.

We still had about two hours before the game started. A few people had brought in Subway to eat, so we claimed our standing room and went back to a cheap deli we had walked by for egg sandwiches and grilled cheeses. Grinning, we showed the bouncer our red stamps with our white deli bags in our other hands.

We found a ledge against a wall under a big flat-screen TV to eat at and bought $5 PBR tallboys to wash down our $3.50 sandwiches. The occasional “U!S!A!” chant came from the front of the bar. It was hot and sweaty already. The crowd was mostly 20-somethings, with plenty more bros than girls— probably 300 at that point. A bro got iced.

The bar’s loud PA system was blasting the likes of “American Woman” and Lady Gaga— America’s music. Once ESPN’s pregame analysis started in earnest, a bartender switched the audio over to the TV feed. We learned about the science of penalty kicks while we drank more. Any time anything representing Ghana came on the screen— flags, fans, presidents— the crowd started a raucous booing. People were getting drunk. By now we were all elbow to elbow.  

Eventually we all found our standing places and the game started rather unceremoniously with the drone of the zuzuvelas coming through clearly. We were only about 6 feet away from our hi-def flat-screen, and alas unfortunately in a natural walkway between the front and the back sections of the bar, meaning that whenever anyone wanted to go back and forth— to get another beer or pee one out— they had to get through us, which kind of sucked.

Ghana kicked one in like five minutes in. It took most of the energy out of the bar. We cruised on for 40 minutes, cheering for our corner kicks and almost any time goalie Tim Howard touched the ball. I was getting a little bored.

Then Donovan got that penalty kick, maybe the 60th minute, and even though I didn’t know what exactly it meant, I could tell it was something good from the crowd going ape-shit. We scored and the next 5 to 10 minutes approached the theoretical maximum fratmospheric pressure— tallboys were lassoed around, showering on everyone in a 20-foot radius. No one cared. When things settled down a little beer casually started dripping down from the ceiling.

Again things mellowed to a low chaos and we eventually went in to over time. No one left— there were still about 400 people in the bar. Ghana scored and I was constantly shifting my weight. I started thinking about this brunette that had been standing around us for a while.

She had that classic New England put-together look, poised and tactful. It was in her smile. Her face was tan and her eyes were bright. She didn’t ask for room and she drank beer. When the game ended a tall, big bro came over from a foot or two to her right and touched her shoulder more gently than I thought him capable.

We walked out across a floor covered in beer, sweat and dirt.

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Vuvuzela IRL

Went to the Spain vs. Honduras game last night. I am obviously not our best sports reporter (@bzcohen), so I’ll leave the technical stuff out. Spain seemed pretty mainstream to support, so I decided to dress in blue (which I look better in anyways, duh) and scream for my Central American comrades in Honduras. Arriving at Ellis Park I quickly discovered how mainstream Spain was. Out of the 54,000 soccer fans there were max 1,000 Honduras supporters, awkward. Everyone else was supporting Spain or Liverpool. I also determined that maybe 20% of stadium attendees (including Honduras supporters) knew where Honduras was. Frequently people approached me and asked me if I spoke English and then asked where Honduras was, and then were shocked by my lovely Connecticut accent when I responded. I literally look like the last person who would ever live in Honduras - with my skin that hasn’t seen sunlight since “the cruise” and my blonde hair.

Geography lessons aside, the games are actually really great. BUT if you think the vuvuzela is terrible on TV you have no idea what it is like in real life. I wore ear plugs the entire game and I still have a headache. I had to fight the urge to shove those plastic trumpets down people’s throats the whole time. What you can’t tell on TV is that people try to play songs with them - sounds equally as terrible. Well, gotta go watch Bafana Bafana, later.

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Our Man In Paris

Damn fine match, gents. Damn fine match.

I chose to watch this one across from the Seine from the Eiffel Tower, on the big screen at Trocadero, because I figured there would be a lot of Americans there. There were. Short of the long, the first thing i heard when I got off the metro stop before the game was: “America—fuck you.” Having lived amongst the natives here for the last few days, this was a sweet, sweet melody, made sweeter still because it was coming from my own mouth. After the game, I walked by Cafe Select—the bar from The Sun Also Rises—on my way home. As Hemingway would say, it was the tits.