Stud Ronaldo Cristiano (@Cristiano) twitpic’d this earlier today, then he deleted the tweet, which said “Olá! I’m on holidays in New York right now…but even when I’m off the field, I’m always training :)”
Ronaldo’s been in the news cuz he paid a women to knock her up and give him the resulting kid, who he named Cristiano Ronaldo. He’s also hooking up with this model, Irina Shayk.
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Went to the Spain vs. Honduras game last night. I am obviously not our best sports reporter (@bzcohen), so I’ll leave the technical stuff out. Spain seemed pretty mainstream to support, so I decided to dress in blue (which I look better in anyways, duh) and scream for my Central American comrades in Honduras. Arriving at Ellis Park I quickly discovered how mainstream Spain was. Out of the 54,000 soccer fans there were max 1,000 Honduras supporters, awkward. Everyone else was supporting Spain or Liverpool. I also determined that maybe 20% of stadium attendees (including Honduras supporters) knew where Honduras was. Frequently people approached me and asked me if I spoke English and then asked where Honduras was, and then were shocked by my lovely Connecticut accent when I responded. I literally look like the last person who would ever live in Honduras - with my skin that hasn’t seen sunlight since “the cruise” and my blonde hair.
Geography lessons aside, the games are actually really great. BUT if you think the vuvuzela is terrible on TV you have no idea what it is like in real life. I wore ear plugs the entire game and I still have a headache. I had to fight the urge to shove those plastic trumpets down people’s throats the whole time. What you can’t tell on TV is that people try to play songs with them - sounds equally as terrible. Well, gotta go watch Bafana Bafana, later.
If you’re annoyed by the constant air horn-like sound coming from ESPN this past 48 hours you’re not alone! The vuvuzela, marketed as “the original sound of South Africa”, has been associated with hearing loss and the spreading of germs and has therefore prompted a movement toward banning it from the World Cup, or at least providing ear plugs for fans.
Apparently some fans believe you can make music with this simple instrument. Here’s a video report on the Vuvuzela Orchestra.
As for us TV watchers, we can just hit mute. Or, if you can’t get enough, there’s the free Vuvuzela 2010 iPhone/iPad app (over 500,000 downloads).
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Kid sis here reporting live-ish from South Africa for the ##. I was under the impression that I would be waking up to the sounds of lions roaring and elephants eating - WOW is the stereotype of Africa false advertising. I wake up to car alarms and some asshole practicing his vuvuzela - grow up who really needs to practice? Anyway. Went to a club last night with some locals. Tings I have learned: If New Jersey and Germany had a child it would some what resemble the South African club scene. People take tequila shots like its a big deal. The fist pump is yet to cross the Atlantic - but big hair and cubic zirconium earings have. “Grinding” is nonexistant - there was more physical contact at my 8th grade dance (reppin public school). A fog machine is a neccesity. Dfloor hookups happen - but I have no idea how they are initiated due to the lack of contact between partners. And finally “Songs that Make Girls Dance” are absolutely universal - via Jason Derulo.
Clubbing is pretty mnstrm here, but I’m going to be even more globally mnstrm and wait in anticipation for the World Cup - don’t judge me.
We hear the Celtics have lined up Gucci Mane to share with the world his take on “The Fool on the Hill.” Yeah, yeah, yeah!
This excerpt comes directly after this paragraph:
“When I see him later in the day, he is in a fury and demands to know where I got off to with the Canon. “You promised me you would bring a camera for me, and now you’re going back on it.” He puts his face very close to mine. “You want to fight? We’ll go right over there. We can fight.” He points to a palm glade that, he says, might make a pleasant spot for him to punch my face.”
Yes, you might want to read Wells Tower’s latest essay.
Vicky T, the tom-girl bad-ass of rave wave group Cobrastarship, has a Twitter. Her nipples do too. Now, after suffering an injury, Lebron James’ elbow has also joined the Twitterverse.
Here’s a list of other celebrity body parts we’d love to see on Twitter:
We’ll be waiting.
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Sup broz,
I was on the nets today reading up on the latest news (espn.com, where else?) and I came across this article by Rick Reilly about chessboxing. Upon reading it, I immediately vomited, evacuated, and tore my right Eustachian tube doing so. Chess boxing? Dumb? Who the fuck do you think you are, “Rick Reilly,” if that is even your real name.
Rick complains that chess boxing combines two things that “couldn’t have less in common.” Well neither does an engineering degree and an econ degree, but everyone I know has both. It’s called being a RENAISSANCE MAN. You know, just the other day I was discussing this with my friend Jack Waffles (John to you plebeians) over martinis as our yacht was floating down the Seine. We were discussing how a great oracle had once exclaimed that “sports are just games.” Now Jack and I, being renaissance men, are philosopher-athletes, so we figured we were qualified to answer this great philosophical question.
After hours of gin-fueled debate, we came up with an answer: basketball is just a game. Golf is a game. Communist kickball is just a game. You know what makes a sport? Combining intelligence and violence. Chess and boxing. Other sports Jack and I have dabbled in since then: Debate-swordfighting. Times tables-dueling. The Grenade Toss. Real-life Battleship (with the French fleet, no it didn’t last very long.) Precision Carpet-Bombing.
Rick, don’t call chessboxing one of the dumbest sports in the world. It’s one of the ONLY sports in the world. In fact, Rick Reilly, I, Frank Cavanaugh, challenge YOU to a chessboxing duel. You name the time, place, etc.
Don’t be a pussy, Rick.
