The ##

After spending the week with the Upper-upper class of “Jozi” and their open bars (with Johnny Walker black) and chatting with world famous archaeologist about 1.7 million year old humanoid remains, I decided to watch some “football” (I don’t know how, but this really happened). On Sunday night I went to the Argentina-Mexico game. Finally supporting a winning team, I wore my light blue and waved my Argentinian flag.

As I sat in my seat, I turned around to look at the crowd and thought I recognized a tall black guy a few rows behind me. Holy shit. That’s Kobe Bryant.

After waving like idiots he finally noticed us. (We had better seats than him, duh.) I gave him my trademark azn tourist peace sign and a thumbs up. Realizing that we were the only people who recognized him in the whole stadium, we decided to be brave and run up to him. Everyone wondered why we were taking pictures of this random guy. After getting shouted at by his security guards, Kobe lifted my 11 year old brother (so jealous) over his security guards for a picture. As we left I turned back and Kobe gave me the peace sign. LOVE HIM.

Oh yea - then some sporting event happened, which was actually amazing. The Argentinian fans toilet papered the field - so frat. In the end Argentina won and I finally didn’t have to look like an idiot walking out of the stadium. Right before we left, a Mexican fan wanted a photo with me. So weird.

Tomorrow I’m headed to Namibia. I doubt that there is any Internet there - especially in the desert. Hopefully I can see some sweet animals or something. Who knows.  

Kid sis here reporting live-ish from South Africa for the ##. I was under the impression that I would be waking up to the sounds of lions roaring and elephants eating - WOW is the stereotype of Africa false advertising. I wake up to car alarms and some asshole practicing his vuvuzela - grow up who really needs to practice? Anyway. Went to a club last night with some locals. Tings I have learned: If New Jersey and Germany had a child it would some what resemble the South African club scene. People take tequila shots like its a big deal. The fist pump is yet to cross the Atlantic - but big hair and cubic zirconium earings have. “Grinding” is nonexistant - there was more physical contact at my 8th grade dance (reppin public school). A fog machine is a neccesity. Dfloor hookups happen - but I have no idea how they are initiated due to the lack of contact between partners. And finally “Songs that Make Girls Dance” are absolutely universal - via Jason Derulo.

Clubbing is pretty mnstrm here, but I’m going to be even more globally mnstrm and wait in anticipation for the World Cup - don’t judge me.

After extensive research, we here at The ## have deduced that some sort of sporting
event is happening in Africa. We decided to investigate. It took us ages to decide which one of our bloggers/reporters we should send to the dark continent, and finally decided on… Kid Sis!

Why did we send our blonde-haired, blue-eyed, WASPy, only female blogger to the land of gorillas and guerillas? We have no idea! What we do know is that if she doesn’t die she will be reporting on this so called “World Cup” and other adventures — if Africa has the Internet.

Is soccer/ football mainstream? Or is it only mainstream once ever four years? Will Kid Sis survive? How many blog years is Africa behind? Only time will tell. God speed, Kid Sis. We hope you don’t catch the Aids.

Here at The ##, we’ve spent the last 75 hours locked in our blogging lair, gobbling Adderall to stay awake and subsisting entirely on Pepsi and Cheetos. So imagine our joy when we finally found out about a reason to celebrate: Today is NO BERLUSCONI DAY!!! Finally, all the pent-up anger that’s accumulated in our hearts over the years, and the ire that comes from the empassioned hate we feel toward this hilariously out0of-touch Prime Minister, can finally be released. We generally hate social or political activism of all time, but this is one grass-roots movement we couldn’t resist! So we took the ## private jet to Rome, and joined the 90,000 people in shouting “resignation! resignation!” We were running through the streets! We could feel the revolution and it was fantastic!Then the police came and beat us up and we could bleed for the cause that we believe in!

Now I understand why so many people want to “hold hands together” so they can “save the world.” I was going to get blackout drunk tonight, like I do every night, but I think I’ll go to Africa and “cure” AIDS instead.

Dress shoes are important for all outfits (BBC).