The ##

Kid sis here reporting live-ish from South Africa for the ##. I was under the impression that I would be waking up to the sounds of lions roaring and elephants eating - WOW is the stereotype of Africa false advertising. I wake up to car alarms and some asshole practicing his vuvuzela - grow up who really needs to practice? Anyway. Went to a club last night with some locals. Tings I have learned: If New Jersey and Germany had a child it would some what resemble the South African club scene. People take tequila shots like its a big deal. The fist pump is yet to cross the Atlantic - but big hair and cubic zirconium earings have. “Grinding” is nonexistant - there was more physical contact at my 8th grade dance (reppin public school). A fog machine is a neccesity. Dfloor hookups happen - but I have no idea how they are initiated due to the lack of contact between partners. And finally “Songs that Make Girls Dance” are absolutely universal - via Jason Derulo.

Clubbing is pretty mnstrm here, but I’m going to be even more globally mnstrm and wait in anticipation for the World Cup - don’t judge me.