How to Get Girls Lesson 1: Songs That Make Girls Dance

(via youtube)


Hi!! ##’s Kid Sister here, welcoming you to Lesson 1 of How To Get Girls.

You bring a “shawty” to a party. Totally pumped because you think you are going to get some. And she looks GOOD. You introduce her to your bros and start high fiving each other when she’s not looking because you think action with this broad is inevitable.

The music is bumping but your date is just standing there. You try and initiate dancing but she wants nothing to do with it. What the fuck? She stands there acting as if this party is below her, sipping on her cheap beer like she wants to savor it. Maybe if you make her a mixed drink? Get real. The rate this is going you’ll be sleeping solo-no-copilot.

This church girl act has to be a front, right? She shouldn’t have dressed like that if all she wanted to do was watch the party, right? Don’t worry bro, it will all be under control soon. Approach the iPod playing whatever rap music you think makes you have street cred. Once at said iPod — change the music to “songs that make girls dance.” Immediately your girl will find another girl in the room and they’ll start dancing — and drinking. There is a ridiculous correlation between dancing and drinking with chicks. The more they dance, the more they drink and the more likely you are not sleeping alone tonight. It’s science.

But what is this mythical playlist that is getting you laid tonight?

The formation of this playlist is not as easy as one might think. You CAN’T just pick songs that girls like. That could totally fuck up the plan. Here are the Dos and Don’ts of songs that girls dance to:

  1. Pick songs that have a “fun” beat — aka something that you could jump around/dance to.
  2. Generally songs that are sung by a guy about how hot/awesome some girl is are a good option — basically she’ll think you are singing this song about her.
  3. Songs that are about dancing/drinking are a good choice.
  4. Stay away from songs that are like “lets fuck later” in a “derogatory” way (see Ludacris, “What’s Your Fantasy?”)
  5. All girls love 90s music. Especially n*sync or bsb. BUT this song selection is risky. If you pick too many of these songs you look gay. There is no way around it. If you want to paint her nails later and talk about Cosmo articles, go for it. Play as much 98 degrees as you want. But if you want some ass, keep it to one of these songs max — enough to make her think you’re fun and shit.
  6. Some songs make girls dance — others make girls sing. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. All girls will sing to Kelly Clarkson’s ”I Do Not Hook Up”. Never play this song. This song is one huge subliminal cock block. You don’t want her thinking, “Hey I totally don’t hook up either, like way to go Kelly Clarkson! Girl Power!”.
  7. Avoid awkward group sing-a-longs.
  8. DON’T try to initiate dancing with her immediately — let her dance with her friends. You will “know” when the time is right.

Here is an sample playlist of songs girls dance to

Lesson 1: Complete.