The ##

Lot going on here. I know we’re like 10 blog years late here, but let’s take a stab at it. 

This is the trailer to Ghost Shark 2: Urban Jaws. Here’s what you need to know about it. Don’t remember the original? There wasn’t one. That’s right.

We could talk about “sharksploitation,” or the idea of a shark appearing out of a glass of ice cubes, but what’s clearly of note here is that they made the sequel first. 

 This isn’t the same situation as Star Wars, where Lucas knew what he was doing and had the prequel(s) more or less mapped out. No, I think the bros behind Ghost Shark 2 just wanted an excuse to “jump” to the even-more-over-the-top sequel that is allowed to piggy back on the plot/set-up/characters of the original and thus is allowed more room for special effects. POW, BANG, WAMP!!! 

Audiences crave this flashbang approach. Only idiots walk in to films like Piranha 3D with expectations of anything more than sex and gore. As evident by the number of real sequels and reboots, all original plots are already taken. Or us “millennials” are too cynical to entertain new stories. Now stunts need to be exaggerated to what some would called “laughable” in order to elicit the same reaction that simple explosions used to.

Either way these action-porn flicks like Machete seem to be the new thing. Sure, its got a pro-immigration tilt, but there’s no doubt that boring scenes— despite being “necessary” to the plot— will be skipped or at least sped-up to make room for more Lindsay Lohan/that other girl/explosions. The directors know it’s not important. Like the original Ghost Shark. 

UPDATE: this.